Like him, love him, or hate him, Floyd Mayweather will no doubt go down as one of the greatest boxers of all thyme. Speaking of thyme, it's one hell of a seasoning.
Anyway, Mayweather announced earlier today on Faux News that he's come out of the closet. Yes, Mayweather was trapped in his very large closet where he keeps sentimental things like stamps, cramps, and toe-nail clippings. Floyd was able to survive being trapped in the closet for 3 days, by eating the toe-nails.
Funny thing is, everyone Floyd texted to help him was either bust doing their taxes or too busy watching reruns of The Simpsons. Justin Bieber came back early from his tour of Antartica to help Mayweather come out of the closet.
Afterwards, Mayweather and Bieber decided to enter into marriage. The reason being to save money on their monthly cell phone bills, because $100 a month is just unacceptable for those dudes.
Speaking of cell phone deals. Make sure to check out E&T's new deal. Unlimited texting, data, and phoning home for the low low price of one million dollars.
The preceding was a parody article for entertainment purposes only