Falsity News: BREAKING: New England Patriots Have Signed Andre Johnson

Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports
Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports

Now that NFL free agency is off and running, the dominoes are starting to fall. One major domino is now former All-Pro Andre Johnson to the New England Patriots.

First reported by Al Jeezara Bundy, Johnson will come to the Pats on a 5 year 150 million dollar deal. The contract includes 149 million in incentives.

At a Lee Press-On-Nail Conference, Johnson had this to say.....

"I'm very excited to be joining the Patriots. It will certainly be hard to learn their normal playbook and the special cheating playbook they gave me, but I'm a hard worker man"

In other news... the Patriots hired mafia goons to force Calvin Johnson into retirement, so that way he can come out of retirement in 2017 and sign with the Patriots. TMZ released the video earlier which can be found right here......

The preceding was a parody article for entertainment purposes only.