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Parody News: BREAKING: Ryan Fitzpatrick Signs 3 Year $60 Million Deal With Denver Broncos

Timothy T. Ludwig-USA TODAY Sports
Timothy T. Ludwig-USA TODAY Sports

It's been quite a week for the Denver Broncos. First, Peyton Manning retired and just yesterday they lost Brock Osweiler to the Houston Texans. Leaving a huge hole at Quarterback for the defending champions.

According to Neegan Rappaport the Broncos have filled the donut-hole with Grizzly Adams himself, Ryan Fitzpatrick. Fitzpatrick had a fantastic season for the New York Jets last year, before turning in a typical Fitzpatrick choke-job in a must-win game against the Buffalo Bills.

Broncos GM John Elway had this to say on the signing....

"You've seen how good my defense is right? I could put Ryan Leaf back there and still win 12 games."

A reporter then asked Elway, if his statement was true then why pay Fitzpatrick five million more a year, then they were willing to pay Osweiler? The reporter then mentioned that the defense might regress this year with the loss of players like Malik Jackson and Danny Trevathan. Elway had the reporter immediately beaten, so he's dead now.

The Jets soon signed Robert Griffin to compete with Geno Smith for their starting QB spot. Griffin and Smith immediately got into a fight in the locker room, where Griffin punched Smith in the face breaking his jaw, while Griffin broke his hand on Smiths face. But hey, Colin Kaepernick is still out there.

The preceding was a parody article for entertainment purposes only.


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