Falsity News: BREAKING: Chicago Bears Have Signed QB Robert Griffin III

Mike DiNovo-USA TODAY Sports
Mike DiNovo-USA TODAY Sports

In 2012, the Washington Redskins mortgaged their future to move up in the draft to select Robert Griffin III. Fast forward four years later, the Redskins released Griffin after he had zero starts for them in the 2015 season.

After a visit with the Cleveland Browns and then realizing why he would visit them in the first place, Griffin went ahead and signed with the Chicago Bears. Griffin will serve as the backup to Jay Cutler. Griffin will be responsible for carrying Cutler's bags, getting him smokes, and helping to pay his gambling debts. One reason for some of Cutler's debts was owning himself in seven fantasy leagues last year, not to mention the past five years as well (ouch)

We axed Griffin why he would rather be a backup on the Bears as opposed to starting for the Brown stains. Here's his answer.

""I'd rather lose to the Packers then literally ever other team as well. Also I have nice dreads."

Griffin signed a one year contract worth 3 million, but the contract is laced with negative incentives. Griffin will lose one million for every interception, fumble lost, and leg injury. Needless to say, Griffin is hoping he never sees the field in 2016.

The Bears have also brought in Johnny Manziel for a visit. They currently have an opening in the towel boy department.

The preceding was a parody article for entertainment purposes only.