The New York Jets and free agent QB Ryan Fitzpatrick have been in a stalemate for quite some time now. It appears as if that stalemate has finally ended.
According to Adumb Shefter, the Jets agreed to Fitzpatrick's terms. Fitzpatrick will now be the highest paid QB in the league, because if there's one thing a mediocre ivy-school QB can do, is grift...er I mean convince the Jets to bow wow to his demands.
What did Fitzy have to do to convince the Jets you ask? All he had to do was just mention the name Geno Smith. Woody Johnson starting crying and began making promises. Then Johnson stopped and said "Hey I can just trade up in the draft and take one of dem QB's yo!" To which Fitztragic replied with the name 'RG3'. Johnson fell to the floor again and started crying again. The rest is history.
Fitzpatrick signed a 10 year deal for 500 million (499 guaranteed). Fitzpatrick then bought the Jets and fired Johnson for being a crybaby. The end.
The preceding was a parody article for entertainment purposes only.