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Falsity News: BREAKING: New Miami Dolphin Laremy Tunsil Arrested

Kamil Krzaczynski-USA TODAY Sports

Laremy Tunsil was considered by many pundits to be the best LT prospect in the 2016 NFL Draft. Tunsil wound up being the third OL taken after Ronnie Stanley and Jack Conklin. This could be attributed to the video that emerged of Tunsil smoking drugs out of a gas-mask (I'm sure it was for his Glaucoma).

The video dropped Tunsil all the way down to pick #13 in the first round where he was finally selected by the Miami Dolphins.

The bad news didn't stop there as Tunsil was arrested a few days later. Not for the drugs in the video, but for illegal possession of a gas-mask. The gas-mask in question was used by notorious drug kingpin Walt Whitman. The mask has been on the FBI's most wanted list for awhile.

The arrest was made by officer Hank Schraderbrau, a bald man who makes terrible jokes and try's to act macho to cover up his PTSD from a traumatic moment when he had to gun down a Mexican drug-lord known as Taco Saladmacha. Why this is relevant I don't know.

The mask will get off with a warning and 120 hours of community service. Tunsil on the other hand will be sent to prison for infinity-billion years. Tunsil said "At least I didn't get drafted by the Cleveland Browns, that would have been way worse."

Let's just hope Tunsil doesn't turn into a wide receiver.

The preceding was a parody article for entertainment purposes only.


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