The Chicago Bears recently released Ray McDonald, after he was once again arrested for domestic violence and endangering a child. McDonald will no doubt face discipline from the league, but that doesn't appear to be a concern for the Philadelphia Eagles who've just signed the dirtbag.
The Eagles have signed McDonald for the league minimum, which McDonald agreed to, but with one condition. That condition being that they needed to help setup McDonald to get his own video game. The Eagles have hired Crapcom to make the brand new 'Ray McDonald's Punch Out'. It will no doubt be a fantastic boxing game, featuring great opponents like....
'Glass Joe' Sam Bradford
'Von Kaiser' Jay Cutler
'Piston Honda' Haloti Ngata
'Don Flamango' Tom Brady
'King Hippo' Andy Reid
'Great Tiger' Russell Wilson
'Bald Bull' Mike Pettine
'Soda Popinski' Johnny Manziel'
'Mr. Blandman' Geno Smith
Super Macho Gronk Man and
Roger Goodell as the final boss
Sounds like it will be a heck of a game. Also your trainer throughout the game will be Herm Edwards. He'll give you encouraging advice like "You play to win the game" and "Hello". The game is set for release next month on the 31st of June.
The preceding was a parody article for entertainment purposes only.