The New York Knicks selected Kristaps Porzingis with the #4 pick in the NBA Draft, bypassing players like Emmanuel Mudiay and Justise Winslow. The majority of Knicks fans were none to pleased about the pick and unfortunately some of them took it too far.
A group of unruly morons with pitchforks, torches, and Knicks jersey's stormed Castle Jackson, which of course is the home of Phil Jackson. The mob was led Skype Lee, Adam Sandler, and Howard The Duck (the real Howard The Duck). Lee was yelling all angry like, Sandler decided to leave to go make another crappy movie that will no doubt have people saying "Man, remember when Adam Sandler movies used to be funny?".
Some of the members of the mob threw pieces of bread at Jackson which sent Howie the Duck into a frenzy. Jackson suffered multiple peck wounds and is currently being held at The Jake Lloyd Memorial Hospital. Jackson should make a full recovery and continue on to happily keep destroying the Knicks, because it's easy.
As for Howard The Duck, he's currently being held prisoner in a maximum security pet shop. The current options being discussed are the death penalty or Howard becoming the mascot of the Knicks forever. To which Howard quacked "Death penalty! Death Penalty! Quack quack quack quack quack"
There is currently a pitiful amount of protesters outside of the pet shop protesting for equal duck rights. I say these people are downright daffy and despicable. Wabbit season is coming.
The preceding was a parody article for entertainment purposes. Ah-be-ah-be that's all folks!