Cristiano Ronaldo is no doubt one of the best footballers in the world. He's continued to be that for his current squad of Real Madrid. Rumors have been running rampant that Ronaldo is no longer happy with Real.
It looks as if there is some traction to the rumors, as it's expected that Ronaldo will return to his old stomping grounds in Manchester United. Yes, Ronaldo will return to jolly old England to retrieve his lucky underwear he left in his locker at ManU headquarters.
Ronaldo says it was the same underwear he wore when he scored a lot of important goals and stuff. It was also the same underwear that Ronaldo was wearing when a fat broad tossed him a copy of Game Of Thrones on DVD (Season 12). Ronaldo never washed the drawers as he felt it would wash away the scent of luck.
Apparently, the underwear was well hidden, because nobody at ManU ever found it. It's a shame too, because the entire ManU team passed out from the fumes. So now they're all dead. The end.
The preceding was a parody article for entertainment purposes only.