Top

Falsity News: LaMarcus Aldridge To Sign With The Knicks

Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports
Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports

As we now enter NBA free agency, Lamarcus Aldridge is one of the hottest names on the market. Aldridge has been predominately linked to the Los Angeles Lakers and Houston Rockets. It appears however that another suitor has swooped in.

That team of course is the Knicks. Not the New York Knicks though, but the Duluth Knicks of Minnesota. Yes, Aldridge is foregoing millions of dollars from the NBA  to join the All Fargo Basketball League or AFBL.

We spoke with the Knicks owner Woody Chipper after the monumental signing. He had this to say...

"Oh this is great eh. This is the first time we've got a big name NBA star eh. Well, we did get Shawn Kemp a while back, don't cha know but we just couldn't keep him out of Tim Hortons eh. He had a horrible cruller addiction, but we feel very confident aboot Lamarcus eh."

Seems like things are going great for the Knicks, except for the fact that they actually play and practice on ice. The additional weight of Aldridge on ice for the first practice caused the ice to break, causing Aldridge and the rest of the hosers on Knicks squad to fall into the ice.

Our very own investigative reporter Abraham Lincoln (He can't tell a lie, like that Washington dude) discovered that the practice was just a setup to get Aldridge frozen in a chunk of ice. Apparently, Aldridge is heavily in debt to a intergalactic gangster named Joba 'The Hut' Chamberlain. Hopefully the force is with our young friend through these perilous times.

The preceding was a parody article for entertainment purposes only. 


Load