Parody News: BREAKING: Phil 'CM Punk" Brooks First UFC Fight Has Been Announced

Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports
Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

Phil 'CM Punk' Brooks shocked the world several months ago, when he announced he would be taking his talents to the octagon by becoming a UFC fighter. From that point on, we've all been eagerly waiting as to who he'll fight first and when that fight will happen. 

Punks first opponent was announced the day before tomorrow, but not the day before the day after yesterday to the fifth powered squared. Anyways Dana Whitehead announced that Punk will be taking on a man named Sanders, Colonel Sanders that is.

Ever since Sanders came back to life in those new KFC commercials he's been feeling very spry. Sanders had this to say "My punches have been packing more punch than my original recipe I say I say"

Punk has never been a fan of Sanders and his unhealthy life style of delicious fried chicken and Kentucky bourbon. Punk had some rather disparaging remarks about the Colonel "He's a disgusting old man that reeks of grease and alcohol, he's going to wish that magical glue sniffing tooth fairy never brought him back to life".

Should be an amazing fight. In addition, anyone who orders this fight for $119.95 will receive a free large combo meal at KFC with purchase of a combo meal of equal or greater value. 

The preceding was a parody article for entertainment purposes only.