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Parody News: BREAKING: Philadelphia Eagles QB Sam Bradford Tears EGO, Will Miss 2015 Season

Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports
Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports

One of the biggest trades this NFL off-season involved Sam Bradford being traded to the Philadelphia Eagles, Nick Foles was sent to the St. Louis Rams in exchange. Pundits questioned the Eagles logic in the trade, seeing as Bradford can get injured by a grasshopper fart.

Unfortunately, Bradford continues to be a stereotype of himself and has once again suffered a season-ending injury. This past day of training camp, Bradford tore his EGO, which of course is short for External Gland Ovaries. Needless to say Bradford is in considerable pain yo. Bradford may never be able to have children, but that's because of the 'microwave accident' which is another story in it's self.

Anyways, Tim Tebow will now be the unquestioned starter of the Egg Rolls, which is a summer softball league. The team is sponsored by the MSG Wok restaurant. Of course this also has nothing to do with this story.

Anyways, Mark Sanchez will now be the unquestioned starter of the Dirty Old Man Lion Hunting Club, then again Sanchez is only a young dirty man and not an old dirty man.

Anyways, Matt Barkley will now be the unquestioned starter of the Eagles. Just kidding, it's going to be Sanchez, Dirty Sanchez that is.

The preceding was a parody article for entertainment purposes only.


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