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Falsity News: BREAKING: Ryan Fitzpatrick Injured At Camp, Will Miss 2015 Season

Noah K. Murray-USA TODAY Sports
Noah K. Murray-USA TODAY Sports

The New York Jets lost QB Geno Smith for 6-10 weeks, after a bizarre altercation in the locker room. Smith was sucker punched by a nobody second year LB that was immediately cut afterwards. Ryan Fitzpatrick is now the presumed starter moving forward.

All seemed to be going well for Fitzpatrick in camp, but an unfortunate injury will cause him to miss the whole 2015 season. In another bizarre situation, it appears that Fitzpatrick burned his vocal cords while eating a S'More that was still on fire. For anyone that doesn't know S'mores are delicious camp-food treats comprised of graham crackers, chocolate, and the Stay Puft man. Due to the injured vocal cords Fitzpatrick will miss the entire 2015 season of the Rick Astley singing club. The club is comprised of several men, women, hobo's, and honor roll teen wolves that practice abstinence.

Luckily, Fitzpatrick will still be able to play QB for the Jets, which is a good thing seeing as they were looking into getting Ryan Leaf into a work release program. It's probably safe to say that the Jets can save their their 10 cartons of Kool's for a rainier day.

The preceding was a parody article for entertainment purposes only. Speaking of entertainment......check out this video


 



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