John Cena wrestled yet another classic match at Summerslam 2015 against Seth Rollins. Cena lost the match and his U.S. Title thanks in part to a Jon Stewart heel turn (You read that right). A few weeks prior, Cena suffered a brutal broken nose on an episode of Monday Night Raw.
The bad luck continues for Cena, as he suffered another injury during Summerslam. After the match Cena suffered a major paper cut back stage, as he was looking through Ikea catalogs with his garden tool Nikki Bella. Cena called the injury a "Major ouchie" But we all know Cena will 'Rise Up' and never 'Give up' yada yada.
In other news Cena's career will be in Jeopardy. Yes, the great and historic career of Cena will be featured on the show Jeopardy. The guy that used to have a mustache, but doesn't anymore will have all the Cena answers and the contestants like Sean Connery and Turd Ferguson will have to come up with the right questions.
For example one answer will likely read. This man destroyed promising pushes for Rusev, Bray Wyatt, and Kevin Owens. To which the question will be 'Who is John Cena?'
In other other news, Cena and and his Bella found a perfect coffee table, that will perfectly support Bella's twin enhancements (If you know what I mean)
In other other other news, New Day rocks!
The preceding was a parody article for entertainment purposes only.