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Falsity News: BREAKING: Eye Witness Claims Tom Brady Bribed Judge Berman

Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sports
Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sports

After several months of decisions, suspensions, punishments, appeals, and everything in between, Federal Judge Richard Berman overturned Tom Brady's four game suspension. The decision isn't without it's fair share of controversy however.

Our very own investigative reporter Slim Shady McCoy from 9 Mile (Because he goes that one extra) was on the scene. Shady camped out ,outside of the building, where the window to Berman's chambers was conveniently open. Brady walked in and offered Berman a bribe, according to Virginia Slim Shady. The bribe wasn't money though, it was to serenade Berman with his (Brady's) beautiful voice. Here's a video of the songs that Brady sang, you'll just have to pretend that Sideshow Bob is Brady.

 As, soon as Berman let Brady know that his bombastic singing would get him off the hook, Brady had this going through his mind.....

Sure was nice of Justin Bieber to get his grandpa out of bed and get his slippers and cane. What a nice kid. Anyway NFL Court Jester er..I mean Commissioner Roger Goodell was furious when he heard how Brady was able to sway Judge Dread. So, of course Goodell had to counter with a song of his own.

 

Judge Berman laughed so hard, he cried. Then Berman slipped on his tears and broke his neck, so he's dead now. While, living in the afterlife, Berman longs to come back up to Earth. This is him singing about it.....

And that my friends is the end of this special musical edition of Falsity News. Would you like to see more musical articles like this? If so, let me know by commenting, you know along with all the normal hate comments. Thanks for reading.

The preceding was a parody article for entertainment purposes only.



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