The Pittsburgh Steelers suffered a 16-10 loss to the division leading Cincinnati Bengals this past Sunday. Even worse, the Steelers superstar RB LeVeon Bell suffered a torn XYZ that will land him on season ending IR.
Although the Steelers already signed RB Isaiah Pead, they're still looking to add depth to their running back corpse. The Steelers will bring in Ray Rice formerly of their arch nemesis the Baltimore Ravens.
Steelers QB Ben Rastaburger has already arranged a meet and beat for Rice. In addition, Big Ben also plans on teaching Rice to make his specialty drink called 'The Cosby'. The drink is a combination of a Cosmopolitan and Blue Curacao and love of course.
Unfortunately for Rice he'll have to use the stairs while in the Steelers facility. Apparently there's a faulty Beta Max player in the elevator that needs to be fixed immediately. And I'm the real Colonel Sanders.
The preceding was a parody article for entertainment purposes only.