The New England Patriots cruised to a 27-10 win against the Washington Redskins to go to 8-0. Unfortunately they suffered a crushing blow when RB Dion Lewis was lost for the year with a torn ACL. Lewis had been quite the pleasant and sexy surprise for the Patriots this year.
Now the Patriots have to move on and they will plan on doing that by working out Ray Rice. As we all know, Rice didn't play in 2014 after being released by the Baltimore Ravens and no other team as of yet has taken the juicy bait know as Gray Ice.
Anyways Rice has been given the real Patriots playbook in addition to the special cheating playbook. Rice has a total of 20 minutes to read through each, otherwise he'll be sent to the deflation room. The deflation room is what the Patriots use to deflate over-inflated balloons, meaning if Rice doesn't learn the playbooks in time then he'll be suspended for two games, until the video emerges of Rice not studying hard enough, which will get him suspended FOREVER.
The Patriots also plan on working out Trent Richardson, Ray Rice again, and a fat man with BO named Fred. The odds are looking good for Fred.
The preceding was a parody article for entertainment purposes only.