It's not every day that you break a historic record and get benched in the same game. But this was the case for Peyton Manning, as he had an atrocious performance in the Denver Broncos 29-13 loss to the Kansas City Chiefs. It turns out Manning wasn't entirely healthy, as doctors determined he had a torn fictitious plant.
Coach Gary Kubiak has already announced Brock Osweiler as the starting QB for next weeks match up against the Chicago Bears. Hopefully the time off will help Manning heal his plant. Perhaps Manning just needs to water it and sing it catchy Nationwide jingles.
In the mean time, the Broncos will bring back their once jilted lover, Tim Tebow for a workout. They have zero intention of signing T-Bone, according to John Elway. Elway had this to say after his early training for next years Kentucky Derby "Wilbur! I mean Norm, actually I don't know your name, nor do I care. I just want to say even though I had all that copier paper from Staples stuck in my pants, I was going to pay for it" We reminded Mr. Elway that we were asking about Tebow and not copier paper from Staples. Elway looked confused and ran away while yelling "Suckers!" Elway then ran right into a wall. He'll be placed in the concussion protocol.
As far as Tebow goes, he ran up to Elway as he was unconscious and took the copier paper right out of his pants. So much for being a good Christian. But wait, Tebow starts to grab his face, to reveal that he's wearing a mask. Oh my god! It was Greg Hardy all along. "It's mine! This paper is all mine! Bwahahahahahahaha!" Hardy screamed
Will the dastardly Hardy escape with the coveted copier paper? Find out in next weeks story, The Hardy Boys: Fist Of Legend.
The preceding was a parody article for entertainment purposes only.