Top

Falsity News: BREAKING: Denver Broncos Will Put Peyton Manning On IR

Chris Humphreys-USA TODAY Sports
Chris Humphreys-USA TODAY Sports

Peyton Manning broke Brett Favre's all time passing yards record last week in the Denver Broncos 29-13 loss to the Kansas City Chiefs. Manning was also benched in the same game, as he had probably the worst performance of his career. The news came out later that Manning was playing with a bad injury.

The Broncos announced on Sonday (not Sunday) that they'll be placing Manning on IR. This is not the IR you're thinking of, which means injured reserve, but instead 'Irrelevant Reporting'. What exactly does that mean? Well I'm glad you axed.

The Irrelevant Reporting list will basically give Manning something to do while he heals. Manning will be given useless things to report on, which will make him feel good.

Some of Manning's assignments include, figuring out what shampoo Rob Ryan uses, the quality of hey that John Elway eats, Greg Hardy's quest to become a sensitivity counselor once his NFL career is over in a few weeks, Roger Goodell's contributions to Donald Trump's campaign, Ben Roethslisberger's paternity suits, Antonio Cromartie's paternity suits, Bill Billichick wearing a suit, Brashad Perriman's magical knee, Colin Kaepernick's negotiations to become the newest Muppet, and of course the JFK assassination.

Manning will be closely monitored by FOX News, because they're always on the lookout for more irrelevant reporting.

The preceding was a parody article for entertainment purposes only  


Load