Falsity News: BREAKING: Miguel Cotto Claims He Was Bribed To Lose Canelo Fight

Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports
Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

It's only been a few weeks since the super-fight between between Miguel Cotto and Canelo Alvarez. Alvarez won the middleweight championship fight by unanimous decision.....or so we thought.

Our very own reporter Dee Muffinman (Do you know him? He's lives on Drury Lane) confirmed that Cotto was bribed to lose the fight. But who was Cotto bribed by? The answer should be very apparent. It was known other than Floyd Mayweather!

What would Mayweather have to gain though? A very good question indeed. You see Mayweather is running for Senate and he wants the young Latino votes. Mayweather assumes he can get that with the support of Alvarez, who is around 10 years younger than Cotto.

Mayweather then plans on running for President, after that so he can initiate his evil plan to take over the world. Mayweather plans on bringing ISIS into America. Mayweather will then draw on the fear of the people and push for the ISIS Patrol (Similar to the Bear Patrol on that one episode of the Simpsons). The American people will have to pay a hefty tax for the service, but what they won't know is that the money is going straight to Mayweather.

The United States of America will cease to be. In it's place will be Mayweatherland, a horrible, desolate land where everyone is poor, besides Mayweather. 

Another question remains is, who would believe Mayweather was smart enough to concoct such a plan? Well he didn't. It was his good friend Justin Bieber who came up with the plan. That's because Bieber is really......THE DEVIL! Which leads us to one of our favorite movie cliches.....God help us.

The preceding was a parody article for entertainment purposes only.