Falsity News: BREAKING: Jim Harbaugh To Be Eagles New Head Coach

Tim Fuller-USA TODAY Sports
Tim Fuller-USA TODAY Sports

The Philadelphia Eagles fired HC Chip Kelly a mere five days before their final regular season game against the New York Giants. To say that the news came out of the closet of left field would be an underwear statement.

In even more shocking news (we're talking Ted Bundy on the chair shocking) the current HC of Michigan, Jim Harbaugh will be the next coach of the Eagles. Not the Philly Eagles though, but the Shermer Illinois Eagles. A rag tag group of little league bowlers affectionately known as the "Bad News Spares".

The team is comprised of all your generic sports movie types. You've got the girl with attitude, the fat kid that's always eating or talking about eating, the nerd kid, and the really talented kid with emotional problems stemming from a rough upbringing.

It will be Harbaugh jobs to bring this group together. Harbaugh will bring in world renowned bowler Roy Munsen to be his defensive bowling coordinator. The coaches will take the group out for ice cream and therapy to hopefully help them out with all their problems. Harbaugh will also see the therapist to help with his whining and Munson will try to get help for his drinking and gambling problems, as well as a horrible incident with his disgusting landlord.

In the end, the Eagles as well as their coaches will win the big game and all become better people for it. Then this song will play.....

As the credits roll.... Starring, Jim Harbaugh, Woody Harelson, Emilo Whatever his name is, Joshua Jackson, and Rob Schneider as 'Toothless Joe'.

The preceding was a parody article for entertainment purposes only.